Humor

Vinnie, such it was necessary to …

[vimmie]

, and in me is the original!!!!

Oh, to . Tin metal
http://jarod.ljazan.lo/volum/vievtopec.pxp?d=349

[Soak]

http://hnubok.mit/ardicle851.xtmn
Not thinner frequent than once per year skull with the bald takes …
! And here was located





Analysis is usually passed gaily and fruitfully
Well directly as!





In this case they widely use statistical methods, including famous 7 tools it VA. Among the popular:
- the principle of Pareto. 20% of our problems - compose 80% of your;
- scatter diagram. The picture of entry into the body of client is investigated;
- control card. Dependence of accuracy from the distance to the purpose.
I AM DRAGGED ALONG!

[RASpberriec]

reference for the cheerful by the spirit
Super-! You do hint?
Savagery, but entire entrance keeps silent.
Between by itself it is understood they are agitated to morning mat and abuse, to be connected for the sake of this aunt they fear.
Tomorrow I will ring, better I will visit beside our REU. I will ask tearfully down . to transpose.
certainly will not leave, but I will neglect signal.

By the way, here is reference for the cheerful by spirit.
http://hluboh.met/olticle851.htnn

[RASpberriec]

I guarantee the effect of light stupor.
In whom stupor? The cleaning woman has the continuation of light warm morning douche…

[Fedala]

Raspberries, for you…

[Soak]

Or the visit of the doctor
or Kondratiy!

[Fedala]

I guarantee the effect of light stupor.
Or the visit of doctor besides the nervous disorders

[Fedala]

I open eyes and see you. You cost, having highly pulled up head, before me before the proud expectation, and I I feel, as I begin to shake from the impatience… I stretch to you hands. I tenderly iron your bends.
I confidently clench you by hands and draw near itself… You quietly wait, and only drops flow off your moist body. I remove based on you everything which can us prevent, and to to you by lips… At long last!!!
As is nevertheless healthy - beer based on !

[Fedala]

yes I do not love this beverage. fie!
But what you do love? On with , small fish?

[Soak]

is
yes I do not love this beverage. fie!





Do not misuse by the health of close ones,
thus far they do not complain.

[Fedala]

can with the ,
Do not misuse by the health of close ones, is , it means

[vimmie]

Fedora,

[Soak]

With other alcoholic beverages of proper quality in the country of
can with the , but not with the alcoholic

[Fedala]

it smells a little on and here
With other alcoholic beverages of proper quality in the country of

[Soak]

driver must itself, without the reminders destroy any rule





If we to the colleague of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety to nothing cavil ourselves, driver must reach flask and drink ,
it smells a little on and here

[Soak]

But if we operationally from the bucket pour, and in a flash at the point of the door?
although no. it will not see the main thing. it is better based on the evening beside the ambush to to . and, when it will polish hems and is not less to be cursed (anything suspecting), to complete sudden thrust down its side, by sharp motion to liquid from the pail, then without giving to it to come to, to pull over the eyes bucket by it down the head. And here to here prove useful ! it is necessary to strike by it based on the entire nonsense on the bucket, at times falling on the softer places “of manager on the harvesting of accomodations”. it is important not to forget in this case very loudly (!) with the wild laughter to , alternating this by hysterical .
I guarantee the effect of light stupor. (stronger degrees they depend on the fortress of the nervous system of the teraed-feast object). You look it will numb for some time and it will begin the desired silence.

[Fedala]

Raspberries, the main thing to shed
But who zh will be already beside one hand to , and beside another (in order strong mutilation not to apply)

[Soak]

and the bottle of a little more place with the soap skin
and suddenly it will drink? to even more strongly be cursed it will begin, yes even angles it can then dirty or under the door it will arrange “the apotheosis of cleaning woman”
Raspberries, the main thing to shed in time after vengeance \ or retribution

[Fedala]

Can it so based on the morning it is charged?
Not, it is discharged spill sunflower , and the bottle of a little more place with the soap skin

[Soak]

Yes I did not feel smell from the cleaning woman!
to : pA to other - means non of the smell

[RASpberriec]

drunks know how still to differently pump
Yes I did not feel smell from the cleaning woman!
Can it so based on the morning it is charged?

[Soak]

and drunks still to differently pump know how (especially drivers - so that there would be no smell)





is pitiful
Greediness - sin! bequeathed to be divided. And you will help, raspberries.

[RASpberriec]

beer is better - the wench at the same time and will be given morning-after drink
That the most terrible and incomprehensible- most sober. At least smell not it .
is pitiful.

[Soak]

Will continue howl- kvass I will purchase.
beer is better - wench at the same time and will be given morning-after drink, he will become kinder and it will begin to sing songs…

[RASpberriec]

so this it house in you does yell?
On stairs area.





and before jump it such concerts to you does issue?
Where that before 7 mornings.





With the first arrival as exotic character. But yesterday it did not maintain.
This woman pleasant to it was removed: and it is pure before and it is quiet.
Will continue howl- kvass I will purchase.





Although its also can be understood
, before of children fully, and here based on the morning terrible mat with the curses! And everyone keeps silent, !

[Fedala]

Point 13. Responsibilities of driver with the contact with the inspector of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety (addition to “the rules of road motion RF”).
1. driver must remember that, after leaving from the garage, he already created emergency.
2. driver must remember that on the road he - weak component.
3. driver must remember that he - (men materially obliged).
4. driver must convey money for the colleague of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety with a speed not of less than 60 km/h.
5. after seeing behind itself machine with the flashing beacons, driver is obligated to press machine to the right, to stop, and itself to leave and to lie beyond the asphalt is face down, after extending before the right hand unmarked note repeating: “It is guilty, I will be corrected!” And not to raise head, until the sound of the driven off machine calms down.
6. if the colleague of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety did not stop driver, driver must stop and ask itself, which did happen, why not ?
7. or it is still better: after noting the inspector of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety, driver must itself, without the reminders to destroy any rule - to exceed speed, to or to turn where is not assumed.
8. from the machine, driver must approach with clear parade step down to the inspector of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety, apply hand to the purse and to report: “Ivan Ivanov. Period - 4 years. Disturbance of high-speed regime. From 50 to 200 rubles”
9. driver must have sandwiches, thermos with the hot tea and change of warm linen before the case with himself, if its stopped worker the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety froze and was starved.
10. with the conversation with the colleague of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety driver must be turned down the sergeants - “comrade officer! ”, to the officers - “comrade is General!”
11. It is forbidden to kiss boots and hands of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety by one and the same by lips. Before the kiss of the hands of the inspector of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety the driver must wipe mouth by rags.
12. must not know the rule of road motion of better than the inspector of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety.
13. If we to the colleague of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety to nothing cavil ourselves, driver must reach flask and drink , after which pay on the price list.
14. to distract inspector during the conversion of money categorically it prohibits!!!
15. If the colleagues of State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety two are more, penalty increases doubly and more. In this case the driver must not place the colleagues of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety down the inconvenient position, entrusting one note on two and more. Inspectors are not obligated to search for where to change money!!!
16. however, driver can be tempered, if he brings down inspector of three and more than disturbers.

[Soak]

Approximately so we leave on Friday in the evening from Moscow
I approximately so ooze each day back and forth (down the work, also, based on it), and already if to miss and to leave minutes down 10-15 it is later, then 1-1,5 more it is possible to add to the road

[Soak]

, you also similar above yourself do note?

Saok,

[Soak]

do not hope even!
It means they agreed!

[vimmie]

Let us memorize…
do not hope even!

[Soak]

I with you more anywhere will not go!!!
Let us memorize…

[vimmie]

Saok, I with you more anywhere will not go!!!

[Soak]

Still considerably about the automobile enthusiasts (experimental)





1. you do not remember, when the last time they stopped BEFORE the foot- line, if they rolled to the cross-road first.
2. your personal before the court of house - 70 km \ ch, and in the city at the point of 150.
3. if burns green, and cross-road is occupied - it is necessary to leave down it. What difference, that transverse will not pass. You went down your signal of light signal.
4. must be included, when as the minimum already on another strip. Indeed if we include previously - they can not pass.
5. if by you included , and machine still not before your number, you automatically press down the gas, and not you foot based on the pedal.
6. you know not that sign \ of rule, which could not be destroyed if necessary or late at night.
7. you not at all remember more than ten signs.
8. if you before to cross-road, and to us it signs - 3 rows directly, leftist - only to the left, right - only to the right, you boldly arise to the right - it is there less than machines. Yes nevertheless 9 of 10 before you will go directly, and they will nevertheless finish harvesting the tenth down the side.
9. if you start based on the light signal, and to following 300 meters, t it was switched down the red, then it is necessary to chase from all forces, impeding then beside the sex. Thus, you occupy a position only nearer to the cherished purpose somewhere on 0,3-0,3 s.
10. costing before the plug, you are forced against front machine so that between you it will not pass pedestrian. Then you passed the large distance (to spit, that if in front is included , you you will then half-hour being cursed pass back).
11. Before the plug, if the man before you does not pass 2 meters, that were freed before it, you include distant and you fall by breast beyond the whistle. Indeed there is place!
12. Generally before the plug you shift gear, and you hold cohesion on the face of in order not to pass moment to roll nearer to the previous machine. (see Section 10)
13. After reading this, you did not say: “Well must there are such coachboxes, which so drive”.

Although its also can be understood.

Russian pensioner.

[Fedala]

Peasant died and he fell on sky, and they tell it:





Peasant the intelligible matter, began to doubt and it proposes:
- A it is possible to me at first to look?
- Look.





Well, peasant down hell was given, and there - for the sake of casino, vaudeville, bordellos, bars, well not , but .
All, speaks peasant, I want to live before hell! It here draw under the hands and beside the boiler with boiling resin. Peasant as will begin to bawl: “You what, deceived me, give here most important feature!” Comes outstanding feature and tells it: “Well you is peasant and strange. It is necessary to understand the difference between the tourism and ”.

[Soak]

All normal under the alarm clock or under the hymn are spilled, and I under the beast mat
so this it house in you does yell? and I did think that she on the work (before the sense before the office) so is entertained and before jump it such concerts to you it does issue?
although before principle efficient and free alarm clock in you!

[RASpberriec]

But it or as?
Russian pensioner.





man before the perspiration of face to work,
There sweep for the sake of your whisk silently. Well simply reached mat - based on . All normal under the alarm clock or under the hymn are spilled, and I under beast math.
Jump it is possible?!
Happens to have that also the very departs, but strictly on business, also, in the limiting (by ) case.
But here that?! is certain of slightly, but I honestly several times prevented and requested: “Work, if you please, respected, silently!”.

[vimmie]

Raspberries,

It drenched in the morning cleaning woman by water. Wound down . cover from “Ferry” and -w-w- w…
!!!! But it or as?

[Soak]

It drenched in the morning cleaning woman by water…. Once a week, and that it is thinner frequent, our cleaning woman arranges “ orgies”: it sweeps for the sake of its whisk and yells by mat.
man before the perspiration of face to work, on top of that and in purely the Russian to teaches. polyglot, so to say… and you, raspberries, behave like a hooligan, aunty you offend… --

[RASpberriec]

Vital. You value!
It drenched in the morning cleaning woman by water. Wound down . cover from “Ferry” and -w-w- w…
Once a week, and that it is thinner frequent, our cleaning woman arranges “ orgies”: it sweeps for the sake of its whisk and yells by mat.
Based on the latter on the 1st floor, practically uninterruptedly. It yells so already surely month, words did not act.
Most inoffensive howls beside with the mat: “That b you , - y!”.
Here not maintain- approached the actions. Poured on thus far that it did not jump before the elevator. Silently…





Medvedev as statesman did not thus far especially appear himself
I will not answer, but that even and forum they will cover.
Nikitin sea-scape Alekseyevna out of the forum to answer with the quoting

[Soak]

and they will prove useful to someone and





10 councils for the driving of the automobile

[vimmie]

If you go on “” and you who that passed - you without the doubts Moscow.

[Fedala]

Signs are hung on the posts for adorning the Moscow streets.
Majorities not only do not see them, but also they do not know their values

[Soak]

To automobile enthusiasts!
Pedestrian always not of rights.
That always uses advantage, in whom the machine is steeper. Before any it is assigned that suffered.
With the approximation to a pedestrian crossing should be in advance increased the speed. Directly before the passage - tax sound signal, and travelling past the jumped pedestrians - clearly and distinctly to them.
Motion is permitted along the streets, to areas, courts, pavements, lawns and to any other surfaces where can pass your machine.
Parking is permitted along the streets, to areas, courts, pavements, lawns and to any other surfaces where can drop in your machine.
To wash machine is possible where is convenient.
Short-term stoppage (for example, to descend above the cigarettes) is permitted directly before that number, where you will go.
Signs are hung on the posts for adorning the Moscow streets.
On the cross-roads the turning down any side is permitted from any number (they will pass, where they will disappear)
Foot- lines before nature there does not exist.
The pair of the bottles of vodka gives confidence above the control, and beer - it aggravates reaction.
Green color always burns on the light signal, and yellow and red - nuances of green.
Before the motion observe correct distance. If distance to in front creeping machine exceeds 50 cm, then machines from an adjacent number will begin to be squeezed before you.
The howl of your signaling at night acts to on your neighbors.
The colleague of the State Inspectorate for Road Traffic Safety stands for the development of the worse racers and their punishment.
Crossband is made for the outstripping.
If you go on “” and you who that passed - you without the doubts Moscow.
10 councils for the driving of the automobile
1. let us assume you are situated before the machine, and with the attempt to be touched based on the place you note the complete absence of control, pedals, control panel, the survey of forward half sphere is hindered by foreign objects. Possibly, you are mudflow down the rear seat, change seats forward.
2. let us assume you will go by your road, and all the remaining machines will go to you they towards and signal, by them beside the sign of solidarity, and you will include the distant light of headlights. If symptoms do not disappear, you will end motion and will ask in the worker of auto-inspection “this randomly not England?”
3. let us assume this not England, then take a little more to the right and continue motion. If you note that a quantity of pedestrians beyond the roadway sharply increased, take more left, possibly you will go on the pavement. Thus, by the turnings of control it is right-left, optimum trajectory is selected.
4. let us assume you constantly pass other motor vehicles, open door and leave so that it will be certified - you do not cost on the spot and are there no any objects, which prevent your motion. If you ascertained that your machine did not stand on the spot - you will overtake it on .
5. let us assume in you went down wheel, you will stop machine and you will look before the baggage carrier spare wheel and pump, if instead of this you see before the baggage carrier the suspicious metallic objects, something which distantly resemble engine - apparently, in you “Dnieper Cossack”.
6. they let us assume you frighten by their variety of the rule of road motion. Then do not be mistaken with the purchase of personal automobile - you remember, the greater your machine - the less the rules of road motion for you written.
7. let us assume you are located as a result of the control before the intoxicated state and inspector attempts to stop you. Rapidly climb over down the rear seat and try to fall asleep. In twenty four hours can quietly continue motion.
8. let us assume before your machine was broken . Urgently get rid besides this automobile, machine without - this the useless heap of metal.
9. let us assume to you towards will go automobile with the letter “” on the frontal glass. Frighten by its unexpected start of light and sound communication. They so gaily jump before cuvettes.
10. let us assume you are not assured before your forces. You remember that on the roads acts the secret rule “think at the point of the fools!” It is not so that at the point of you especially worthwhile to strain their head, let others think at the point of you.

[Fedala]

Amusing declarations

[Soak]

Amusing declarations ov url

6. Beyond the holidays can amuse your favorites, after throwing beside the aquarium the pair of the spoons of lettuce “” and after pouring out beside the aquarium the wineglass of vodka.
But based on the morning brine! And to not to forget small fishes to write down!

[Soak]

Councils to beginning
Design of the aquarium
1. that is better than the glass- or organic glass? - Usual window glass quite that. it is not necessary to .
2. it is necessary whether to bring water and discharge down the aquarium? - Certainly no, down the horseradish this .
3. what is the aquarium of correct form? - Cube is meter on the meter and by height the meter
4. is it possible to make an aquarium accurately under the size of niche in the wall? - It is possible, but it is not necessary, to correctly place aquarium before the center of room.
5. as does depend the cost of aquarium on capacity? And from what still? - Price depends only on the impudence of the firm of producer and salesman. glass- costs kopeck.
6. than high aquarium? - Ceiling to become damp begins.
7. is necessary stone? Before what its special feature? - Yes take any old stone, color in the vividly orange color and place beyond it aquarium. the orange dear color of small fishes, them draws entire bright.
8. we buy our! But it does can imported better? - Is certain our, bourgeois will strip based on you at an exorbitant price, selling the same goods.
9. small aquarium to more easily contain? - Naturally, the less, those simpler, but also with the large aquarium there are no problems.





1. lamp. How to calculate the power of lamps? Is accurate the formula of 1 watts down the liter of water? - Complete , the it is brighter, those better, and with the large power, lamps will warm aquarium in winter.
2. what are spectrometer lamps? - The intrigues of the bourgeois, who want to strip based on you your blood.
3. why is necessary filter? - Filter before the aquarium is not necessary - take the nonsmoking small fishes.
4. why is necessary heater? - So that the small fishes would not freeze, if temperature suddenly descends below zero. In you frequently before the room the temperature does descend below zero?
5. why is necessary compressor? - Yes it is not necessary, this is sequential divorce for the oleasters.
6. - for which it? - it is very convenient to hide from the wife. there is no wife? to you is not necessary.
Formulation of the aquarium
1.. To pour or not? - 99% of specific aquariums contain ground. sand from the sandbox before the court will approach.
2. snag, for which they are necessary and as to select them? - Snags will give the final form to view inside the aquarium. the rotted tree so very beneficially acts beyond many species of small fishes. to select snag is simple - you will leave beside the court and you will break off any pleased branch.
3.. - Additional adornment, if it wants, throw on the bottom 1-2 bricks.
4. plants, living or artificial? But as small fish? - Living plants - these are the survivals of the past, now already no one uses, but to small fishes what difference, you will feed your favorites.
5. to for which defend water? - The sequential myth, devised by amateurs. Water before the water pipe now practically ideally is suitable for an aquarium and does not require additional actions.
6. as to make a color of water before the aquarium more attractive? - Pour out beside the aquarium , from the calculation 1 phial down 100 liters of water, this will give light diamond nuance to water.
As to buy the small fishes
1. if money little it is possible to catch small fishes before the adjacent to pond.
2. small fishes are sold in the pet store.
3. to buy better on 7 small fishes of one form. seven - happy number.
4. take as much as possible different types. Aquarium will be more beautifully.
5. if not pitifully money take any rare expensive small fish, then you are able to negligently throw for the sake of familiar, who visited you, - this transparently , took after 800 Greens, one in the city, only in me.
6. do not listen to the salesman apropos of the incompatibility of different small fishes - this is escape, if the small fishes die before the case.
7. by the way died small fishes they exchange as any poor quality goods during the 2nd weeks.
8. do not forget to ask guarantee coupon. If the period of guarantee less than 1 year or there is no guarantee coupon, to you for sure they pseudo-leftist.
Starting of small fishes beside the aquarium
1. each small fish is taken beside the hands and is rubbed by alcohol based on the 2nd sides. why to thrust beside the aquarium any mud?
2. to before neglect small fish beside the aquarium do not forget to knock by small fish about the glass-. so you it will show where it must live.
3. you will lower small fish beside the water.
4. after feeling itself house small fish it can float upwards by belly, soliciting so that they would iron it. to iron not necessary, do not spoil your wards.
Feeding and the withdrawal
1. to feed small fishes necessarily, as soon as in you will appear this desire.
2. but not thinner frequent than 1 time per month.
3. expensive fodder containing any is better not to buy, small fishes from it are ill and die.
4. is done this specially for of money - first you pay at the point of the fodder, and you then buy the small fishes of instead of dead.
5. I use crumbs based on the table.
6. beyond the holidays can amuse your favorites, after throwing beside the aquarium the pair of the spoons of lettuce “” and after pouring out beside the aquarium the wineglass of vodka.
7. do not decide to change water before the aquarium, small fishes get accustomed to on Wednesday inhabiting and can fall ill if we this medium destroy. water they add in proportion to by its small fishes.
http://hvolosd.ro/aqualium.xtn

[aspilant25]

that yes he thought also beside the truth by division about the food they were mistaken so no to you precisely here "))
aspirant25 out of the forum to answer with the quoting





Nikitin sea-scape Alekseyevna, I will think





It is not must, do not change, . Medvedev as statesman did not thus far especially appear himself - his some proposals past a change in the housing code of what they stand. As the saying goes - one we treat, we mutilate another - they solve one problem, another immediately is created. But indeed the solution must consider all aspects of problem…
, only before the humor about this and to speak…





Page 32 of 61 “first < 22="" 27="" 28="" 29="" 30="" 31="" 32="" 33="" 34="" 35="" 36="" 37="" 42=""> latter”

[Soak]

and as to began…

[Fedala]

Prescription of dish “turkey before the whiskey”
1. is required one turkey with the weight of 5 kgf, 1 l of whiskey, 300 g of fat, olive oil, salt, pepper.
2. fat to cut by thin slices, to assess by them turkey, to add salt, pepper, to on top pour on by olive oil.
3. to warm thoroughly oven, after establishing thermostat down mark 7.
4. to pour to itself 50 g of whiskey.
5. turkey to place before the wind cabinet, having preliminarily assumed beyond the pan.
6. to pour to itself 100 additional g of whiskey.
7. to establish thermostat down mark 8, having been randomly gripped at the point of it.
8. to pour to itself 150 g of whiskey.
9. through half-hour to open door in order to look, as there this turkey it is fried.
10. to take the bottle of whiskey and to flood to itself after the necktie… i.e., at the point of the collar!
11. Even through half-hour to crawl to the oven, to open it and to throw… to … to upset turkey down another side.
12. To anneal to itself hand by this door of oven, shutting it. , oven!
13. To pour 200 g whiskey and by volley to drink. A! It