| "> | | | | disaster. |
| It had to happen, eventually. There's a website | | | | Instead, why be deceptive and just use the AM |
| where cheating spouses get to advertise their | | | | site I first described? At least there, you know |
| 'availability' to other cheaters. It's called 'Ashley | | | | they're cheating. It's rather a form of lying |
| Madison' and claims to have over 840,000 | | | | honesty, if I can create a new phrase. There, |
| members. This site, which opened in 2002, says it | | | | everyone's on the same lying level. You go there |
| has 8.5 men to every 1.5 women, a number I'm | | | | hoping to have the same low standards and |
| not particularly proud of. You sign up, put together | | | | values as everyone else. There, you can expect |
| a profile under an assumed name, and wait for | | | | them to fudge all their vital statistics. You can do |
| the results. So what's so surprising? The fact that | | | | a lot with Photoshop to doctor your photo, as |
| it even exists, or has so many members, or that | | | | well. As a result, you'll lose poundage, wrinkles, and |
| you didn't think of first? I think it's more of a sad | | | | the gray in your hair. It's amazing. |
| social commentary on our morality and how we | | | | But there's a catch. What if you do connect, then |
| view our lives. | | | | what? You begin secret e-mail sessions at three in |
| The idea of a site for cheaters is nothing new. For | | | | the morning, or from the office, as not to arouse |
| years, there have been chat forums such as via | | | | suspicion. You might even make a few phone |
| Yahoo, offering rooms labeled, 'Married But Flirting.' | | | | calls, hoping to get to a physical rendezvous. |
| By now, I'm sure there are many others, as well. | | | | Remember, you both have mates and they have |
| I admit to using the web for making that | | | | brains. They might start figuring things out, but |
| 'connection, but in a more honest approach. I was | | | | what do you care? The fact you went to the |
| a widower and tried the net, using 'Match.com' and | | | | web for relief means you don't respect them |
| 'Yahoo Personals,' as a way of meeting other | | | | anyway. If they do catch you, you've already |
| singles. But, on several occasions, I suspected that | | | | committed to getting out, or should have. After |
| several of the so-called 'singles' were actually | | | | all, you're a cheater. |
| attached. After all, it's so easy to post a profile | | | | To those of you who would question my |
| under an alias, and many were doing so. It's | | | | judgment, I say, really? If going to a website |
| tempting to concoct false data or even a fake | | | | designed for cheaters, or chatting online in a flirting |
| picture, to test the waters. I experienced several | | | | chat room, isn't problematic, I question your |
| replies from women who had fudged their: (a) | | | | motives. What happily married person would do |
| age, (b) weight, (c) photo (taken years ago), or | | | | these things? If it were years ago, before the |
| (d) status. I don't consider 'separated' the same | | | | Internet, I would expect the same behavior in a |
| as 'single.' | | | | bar, where you carefully remove your wedding |
| But that appears to be the new situation. It's | | | | band or ring, before entering. It's just been made |
| rather like being a little pregnant. Either you are or | | | | easier and more anonymous on the Internet. As if |
| you aren't. A separation implies the chance for a | | | | cheating weren't rampant enough already. |
| possible reconciliation. After all, you haven't filed | | | | Some final statistics, to ponder. After a Google |
| for divorce and are probably working some things | | | | search I found the following results for these |
| out. But in some minds, they're thinking, while | | | | terms: cheating partners-2,240,000, |
| we're apart, why not toss that line into the old | | | | married-1,810,000, adultery-4,080,000. The better |
| fishing pond and see what bites. Talk about nerve. | | | | news is that 'good marriages' produced 8,160,000 |
| The unsuspecting victim fails to establish the real | | | | results. So there's still hope for some of us |
| motive behind his or her, posting and begins an | | | | old-fashioned types. And for the cheaters, you |
| online relationship. Now there's a recipe for | | | | can see your 'net' results. |