| It's not easy when you find out your spouse is | | | | other, they may decide to fulfill these needs |
| having an affair. Maybe you haven't quite found | | | | elsewhere. This is a driving factor for why affairs |
| out yet, but your gut is telling you they are. | | | | begin. |
| Trust your gut. Statistics show that 80% of | | | | If you are feeling like your spouse is having or |
| women and 50% of men who think their spouse | | | | you know they have had an affair, you need to |
| is cheating are correct. | | | | evaluate what their needs are and see if you |
| When you first find out or feel as though your | | | | have met them. |
| partner is having an affair, it's natural to think that | | | | An affair is not the end of a marriage. You have |
| you did something wrong. The first thing I want | | | | developed so much together, it is hard to walk |
| to share with you is that this is NOT your fault. | | | | away and divorce, despite the social and family |
| You didn't do this to you or your spouse. They | | | | pressures you may be feeling. Again, this is where |
| are the one's who did this. | | | | an on-line support community can be beneficial. |
| Affairs happen for many reasons, and they | | | | My advice is to not give up. If you have |
| happen to many people. The second thing I want | | | | something worth saving, then save it. Don't throw |
| to share with you is that you are NOT alone. | | | | everything away. If you realize that you and your |
| Don't feel like you can't share this with others. | | | | partner are not meeting each other's needs, than |
| There are communities out on the internet that | | | | work a plan to start communicating. |
| are great support groups because they are full of | | | | Begin to ask each other things that you can do, |
| people going through exactly what you are going | | | | or what they expect. You need to satisfy each |
| through. | | | | other, the way you did when you were dating. |
| I think the best part about these communities is | | | | As you begin to understand the expectations you |
| that the people you are leaning on are completely | | | | have for one another, you will notice that your |
| nutrual. They don't know you, or your spouse, so | | | | communication increases, and it will be easier to |
| the opinions they share are from the heart, | | | | talk to your spouse, and you will have less fights. |
| without any bias. | | | | You will find new activities to share in together, |
| What they offer you that many others can't is | | | | and you will make sacrafices for one another. You |
| that they have been through exactly what you | | | | will begin to love the marriage that you have. |
| are going through. They understand everything | | | | What you will notice most is that you will be more |
| you are feeling and can tell you what else to | | | | responsive to your spouse's needs, and you will |
| expect. | | | | find yourself to be a more trusting spouse. |
| People cheat for many different reasons, and | | | | I know you may think it impossible to trust |
| those reasons typically differ for men and | | | | anyone ever again, but when you create a |
| women. The bottom line is that people cheat | | | | transparency through communication, you will |
| when their basic needs aren't being met. | | | | trust your spouse because you are open with |
| I think every couple should write down their top | | | | each other, and you know what they are |
| five needs in their relationship, and share them | | | | wanting, needing and expecting. |
| with their partner. You will see that the lists are | | | | Don't give up. No one who has ever given up has |
| completely different from one another. | | | | ever won anything. Stay with your marriage, your |
| You can't get mad at your spouse for what they | | | | spouse. It will take work, and you will need |
| say their needs are. These are their needs, not | | | | support. But don't give up. |
| yours. They are supposed to be different. What | | | | In many instances, couples have gone on to live |
| you need to do is understand those needs, and | | | | happier marriages after an affair. You are thinking |
| work to try and meet and even exceed those | | | | that it's impossible, aren't you? But when you |
| needs. | | | | open up communication, and learn new things and |
| This is how successful relationships are built. I am | | | | constantly set out to please one another, you will |
| sure most couples don't know what their spouse's | | | | find a joy and euphoria that you haven't |
| needs are, and the reason they don't know, is | | | | experienced in years, if ever. |
| they never ask. | | | | Imagine what you would lose if you just left your |
| This is called communication, and it opens the | | | | spouse because your family and friends are telling |
| door to a healthy marriage. When you are honest | | | | you it's not worth saving. What do they know? |
| and open with one another, you create a | | | | It's your life, your spouse, and your marriage. You |
| transparency, where you really know your | | | | know it's worth saving. |
| spouse, what they want, what they need and | | | | The affair is an eye-opener, yes, but it is also a |
| how to meet those needs. | | | | cry for help. Get the help you need, and live the |
| When one spouse feels their needs aren't being | | | | marriage you always dreamed of. |
| met, and they can't communicate it with the | | | | |