Infidelity Detective: Investigating a Lover or Spouse

We've all heard the horror stories associated withup? Whether they outright refuse to answer, or
relationships. Usually, these stories are thejust never fully answer, this is a huge red flag.
common issues that touch most, if not all, couples.· Refusal to Give Contact Information. If
A step up that ladder is infidelity - statistics showyou only have their beeper number, that signifies
that affairs affect approximately one in everya problem. Even if you have their work phone
three couples. Think about that for a minute. Onenumber and their cell phone number, but not a
out of every THREE. This means, even if youhome phone number - you should be suspicious.
haven't personally been cheated on, people in yourLikewise, if you don't know where they live, and
life likely have been.the individual is not forthcoming with this
Also, millions of women each year are abused byinformation, there's probably a reason why.
the men in their life. Many of these women are· Keeps Friends and Family Hidden. If you
ultimately murdered by the hands of theirhave no idea who their friends and family are,
significant others. And it's not just men that dohave never met them, and don't even know
the abusing - women are abusers also. Abuse haswhere your partner hangs out with their friends
many variations - from the physical to theand family - be concerned. In healthy relationships,
emotional - and the far majority of it happensit is a normal and expected involvement to meet
behind closed doors with someone the victimeach other's friends and family.
trusts.· Deception. If you've caught them in lies,
Unfortunately, there are also con artists out thereone after another, even small "white" lies - this is
who purposely find emotionally needy targets toa warning signal you should not ignore. When you
steal money from. They use their charisma andknow the facts about an incident and your
their lies to become romantically involved withpartner is lying to you, they're trying to keep you
their victims, and once the trust is established,from discovering something. You need to carefully
they walk away. Not only leaving a broken heart,consider what they are hiding and why.
but often, an empty bank account. Many times,· Missing Blocks of Time. Do they run to
these victims never come forward because theythe store for "one quick thing," and return three
blame themselves.hours later? Do they suddenly have business
Today, it is easier than ever for someone to takemeetings every night that run until late? Are they
advantage of you. With the advent of theoften unavailable at unexplainable times? Missing
internet, and the fascination with falling in love,blocks of time often leads to the realization that
internet matchmaking companies are big business.your partner is cheating.
And, for the person looking to find someone to· Complains about Lack of Money. If your
victimize, these organizations are a fairlypartner is suddenly complaining about a lack of
anonymous way to begin their search.funds, and if this is a NEW thing, be careful. They
There are many reasons why someone maycould be spending their extra money on someone
want to investigate their lover or spouse. Theyelse.
could be in a new relationship with someone they· New Concerns over Appearance.
don't know very much about, they could beSuddenly worried about their physical appearance
contemplating marriage and are unsure if theiris a sign of infidelity. Those who have been
intended has been honest with them, or theycheated on always say their first clue was the
could be in a long-term relationship or marriagenew clothes in the closet, the excessive shaving,
and believe their significant other is cheating onthe using of perfume/aftershave when it wasn't
them. Regardless of the reason why, in today'sbefore, the membership at the gym, etc.
world, it makes sense to be sure that yourBasically, any behavior related to appearance the
partner is who they say they are. In mostindividual didn't have before.
circumstances, if your instinct is telling youThe above characteristics do not mean your
something is off, it probably is.partner is lying to you, cheating on you, or is
Usually, when people are hiding something, theresomeone other than they say. However, they are
are clues to this. Knowing what to look for cansuspicious in nature, especially if more than one of
help you in making the decision to investigate yourthe above pertains to your partner. What do you
lover or spouse. Realize, the following tips aredo to confirm or deny your suspicions? There are
based on the assumption that a couple is beyondmany possibilities at your disposal if you're ready
the "first date" stage.to investigate your lover or your spouse.
· General Evasiveness. Are they vagueRemember, the more information you have, the
when you question them about their job? Pastbetter decisions you can make.
relationships? Family? Schooling? Where they grew