Oprah Expet Ruffles Feathers: Why Men Cheat

I'm not sure if you've seen it or not, but chancesBut what happens when the team is getting
are you heard about it. Oprah had relationshipblown out? The man loses interest in the game
expert M. Gary Neuman on her show to discussand finds something else to do. This is by no
his new book, "The Truth About Cheating", andmeans an excuse for a man to cheat, but rather
he ruffled a few feathers.points out that men need love, affection, and
I thought it was a great interview, but a lot ofattention from their wives, just as their wives
people, women in particular, were upset. See,need from them.
Neuman's book is about why men stray and whatAffairs are a strain on any relationship, and it's
you can do to prevent it.important to understand that if an affair is
After the show, a lot of women felt like Neumanhappening or if you think it is happening, the truth
was blaming them for their spouse having anis there is something wrong in your relationship.
affair. In his research, which included over 25,000The long and short of this is that both parties in
interviews, Neuman's data revealed that the mainany relationship really need to indentify what each
reason men cheat is because of lack of attentionother wants and needs. Only then can you grow
at home.your relationship into the one you always
Contrary to popular belief, men, like women, havedreamed of.
a need to feel important and valued in aThere is no sense in holding back your feelings.
relationship. The need a feeling of self-worth, andYour partner or spouse won't be able to address
want their wives to be happy and proud of them.your needs until they are clearly defined.
What women took from this was that he wasIf you get to this point, and I hope you don't, you
giving men an excuse to cheat and then pass theneed to indentify the problems in your relationship
blame on to their wives. I disagree.and develop solutions for those problems. If you
He was trying to emphasize why men wouldwant to catch your spouse cheating, I suggest
consider stepping outside of the relatiosnhip. Hethe book by Neuman or the book "Cheating
used sports as an anology of how men have toSpouses Revealed".
feel a sense of winning. When a man's team isBoth are fantastic for helping you identify reasons
playing, you often notice a sense of ownership onpeople cheat, how to catch them, and how to
the man's part, as if he has a stake in the team'srecover.
perfomance.